I’ve got a bit of a pet peeve brewing. It has to do with those “In Loving Memory” Stickers that have been popping up on autos all over the Southland. The other day I saw a “In Loving Memory of Johnny” sticker on a beat up civic. Right below that decal, on the very same rear windshield, was one that said “It’s all about ME!”
So which was it? Me? Or Johnny?
I don’t even get the memorial stickers in the first place. Why on the car? Why not on a tee shirt or a backpack or your front door? How about beer cosy? Cause Johnny… liked beer?
I’ve gone so far as to wonder:
1. Did Johnny die in the car?
2. Was Johnny hit by the car?
3. Is the car now a shrine to Johnny? Is there other Johnny memorabilia inside?
4. Perhaps the life insurance money that was collected upon Johnny’s death, paid for the car?*
*This would possibly explain the “All about ME!” sticker alongside the memorial one. Johnny’s kicked the bucket and paid for my car. Now it’s all about ME! So long Johnny and thanks for the car!
I suppose this is rather insensitive but there is a lesson in all of this. Make yourself clear. If your message is as muddled as a vinyl memorial sticker on the back of an old Honda, you’ve got problems. Johnny may be 6 ft under but make sure your message isn’t. Make sure that you are spreading that message in the right places, to the right people, and with clarity.
Because if you don’t? I just might make fun of you!
PS to the people I love: Please don’t ever put a vinyl sticker on a car for me. You can do better than that.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
So funny. I can relate, it seems that everytime I go to Wal-Mart (I’m obsessed with Sam Walton) I see those stickers on the windows of trucks. It’s quite morbid. And, it’s odd that I only see those stickers on the windows of pick up trucks…what’s that about? Since Johnny has a memorial of him on an automobile window for everyone to see, does that make him famous now?
you kidding me? Luckily that has not yet caught on here with your friends in Canada!
Yeah… but think of all the fabulous labels Mabel’s could make for cars if it did catch on! I’m seeing “Johnny” in a pretty font, some colors and flowers, or maybe a puppy. Call it the MOL line. Memorial Out Loud!
These bug me too! Actually anything that has an “In memory” “RIP” anywhere, other than a tombstone, is so odd to me.
But to each their own.
I agree, please don’t do that fam…you can buy me a bench by the ocean or plant a tree for me and put a cool plaque on either. That would be ok.
I’m so with you on this. It is such an odd thing to do, although most of the time the driver tends to be on the very young side. So I’ll assume they will out grow this morbid memorial tradition. At least I hope
Ciaran….Imagine you lost one of your children!??! Would you want people to remember then always? Would you vow to make sure poeple knew about this child even though they are gone? I lost a son in 2007…he was only 17 years old. He is gone and I’ll make sure he is not forgotten. I have a memorial sticker on my race car and all that see it ask who was Steven and how did he die. I then get a chance to share with him what a beautiful child he was and how amazing and talented he was. I guess you would never understand cause you have never lost someone significant in your life….I mean SIGNIFICANT. We all love grandparents and that is the normal order….But to lose a child is Horrific. memorializing him is the least I can do?!?!
Rob
“Steven Michael Lastiri – Always in our hearts Son”
I’m so sorry for you loss Rob.
I agree with you Rob!! I too have lost a son. He was 8 months old, and i feel the same way you do. I also want to make sure he is not forgotten. My daughter was only 3 when he passed and i will do what it takes to help her remember her brother! I not only have a memorial decal, i also have a tattoo of his last hand print on my heart! If anyone has a problem with my car decal, then pass me or turn the other way, because I will not remove it.
We’ve lost a son to cancer, and not one person in our family needs a cheap, ticky-tacky fad decal to be viewed by thousands of total strangers in order for us “not to forget” him! Just another stupid gimmick for someone to make money.
I agree with jl, those decals are tacky and are typically displayed by people with no class whatsoever. I have yet to see one for a child. Most I have seen here in Virgina are for pets and grand parents. Sorry for your loss people but really, everyone driving around you has lost someone in their past and you don’t see them sticking crap on their vehicle for attention. The only thing that tops these decals are the confederate flag stickers usually displayed beneath them.
If you would like, Michael, you can come and see my decal once I get it. I plan to put it on my car and so does my husband. It is in memory of our daughter, Christina, who passed away 7-5-2007. I think if this type of thing helps in the healing process, grief process, then it is no one’s business but those who are doing it. Please don’t judge so hastily, anyone of you. And I hope no one has to deal with the loss of a child because you don’t know how you would handle it. If you wouldn’t do a decal, that is cool. Some people do a tattoo, some nothing. It is a personal choice. If you don’t think it looks good or is “creepy” then don’t look. JL, I am sorry for you loss. We all handle things in our own way. We have our own ways of dealing with this loss. I am not a stupid person or a tacky person. I am well educated and normally don’t like attention called to myself. But what is normal about losing a child?
Every person’s journey with grief is their own. It’s pretty sad that anyone would call what might be a huge part of someone’s grieving process “tacky” or “classless”. My son died after living an amazing 11 hours. I plan on getting a decal for my car in his honor & I don’t think I’m tacky or classless. If that is how I choose to let the world know he existed, then it’s my choice. It doesn’t hurt anyone else & it helps me get through my day to day life. But this is MY grieving process & I will grieve however I see fit. If you don’t like it.. it’s kind of a “too bad for you” deal. You don’t have to own my car, or see any tattoo I get or whatever. If you have nothing constructive to say then it’s best to keep it to yourself? Because a grieving parent (or family member) has ENOUGH to deal with already.
Even before I lost my daughter in June 2010, I always thought that was a nice way of remembering a loved one.
If you have not lost a child, you don’t get it.
At one time I thought the memorial stickers were a bit odd, but didn’t put much thought to them, but never thought of them as tacky or classless. My attitude changed significantly after I lost my daughter Khylee at age 5 to brain cancer. So not only do I now have a memorial sticker, I also have stickers conveying the fact that my daughter died of cancer, as well as the foundation I am involved with “The Cure Starts Now”. I do this for two reasons: 1) To keep my daughter’s memory alive, I live in a small community, so many people knew Khylee. I think one of the biggest fears of a parent who has lost a child is that their child will be forgotten. 2) To bring about awareness that children die of cancer too. The funding for pediatric cancer reasearch is sadly lacking in comparison to adult cancers. What happened to that old saying “Woman and CHILREN first”.
C – Read your comment. My first thought/ inclination is why do you care? Obviously you have not lost a child or parent that was influential enough in your life that you cared enough to make a statement of “self expression” in some manner other than those of “traditional” avenues, such as headstones and monuments made of granite and brass. As one who has invested in the traditional forms of “Memorial” for my son, I can only believe that there is never enough venues to let others know how much I love, appreciated and miss my him. I realize as a clothing designer, you were judging the Civic owner for using what you believe is bad taste in how it was displayed. I believe that you displayed bad taste for even considerating it to be a subject for your website. — You are out of your league on this one missy – or – perhaps it is all about you.? – Robert William Thomas – 10/09/80 to 8/15/2008
My heart goes out to all those bereaved parents. I, too, have not only lost a child…but both of them. My l6 year old little girl in a tragic accident and my 25 year old grown son to a rare cancer. I have tats to honor them, a memorial band on my wrist, I wear my sons watch and have an etched medalion with their pictures and a cross around my neck. Next is to add a memorial sticker to my car.
I also did notice that with your post, you have a picture of your 2 adorable daughters with you? Its the same premise, my friiend…..the EXACT same premise. Why post a pic of you and your kids on a public forum and then post a dissertation about how bereaved parents are expected to memorialize their deceased loved ones? Add to that, your words were passivly aggressively rude, to boot!
Maybe the comment on the window was Jonny’s favorite “catch phrase”???? Its not you to judge.
You have yourself listed as “writer”, “designer”, “momfluential”. If your blog is any indication of the type of authoring that “momfluential” shares and utilizes in your consulting work….I, personally shall avoid reading any more written by a low-tolorance, closed minded, uncompassionate, judgemental person who feels it ok to spew anger over someone elses grief and pain.
As far as class and tacky…..that is a perfect description of this post. Lord help you that you never have to feel the degree of pain we bereaved parents must endure…..every single day of our living lives.
God bless you……perhaps I’ll add those words to my memorial sticker to remind folks like you to remember you were born with a heart.